Since shame is so overwhelming, experiencing it in normal social contexts is not fun and will usually cause you act in strange ways to try to shut down the feeling (like suddenly and vehemently changing the topic). This work is best done in therapy - both because it's easier to trigger the feelings in a context where that is your specific goal, and because it's often a gentler and safer context in which to experience the feelings. There are others - you can work with the feelings yourself, by slowly exposing yourself to the triggering experiences and breathing through the shame attacks. One disappointing aspect was the focus on 12-step groups as the only solution. So, normal emotions or sensations such as embarrassment or shyness trigger excruciating feelings of shame. It also helped me understand the physical experience of shame and how it shuts down your whole system - it binds to the emotions or sensations you were feeling at the time you were shamed, so when you feel those emotions again, the shame comes back. Understanding that is the key to uprooting them from your psyche (or at least not taking them seriously). What I found most helpful was understanding that shame-based families operate in a set of dysfunctional rules. This book is a fundamental text in the field.
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